Don't get me wrong, I love my reef from a pure hobbyist standpoint as well, but it really helps me to disassociate from those memories for awhile and become consumed in my reef. Sure disassociating won't get any of us through all of this, but we can work on that in other ways, and well its not alcohol(unless its vodka! (dosing! ).
I've dealt with PTSD for 20 years, since leaving the Gulf War. A lot of being able to disassociate isn't so much a way to deal with what you're feeling, but mostly a way to forget the past so those feelings don't surface again. I've found personally that any activity that focuses your thoughts on specific goals, without 'wandering off' into PTSD land, is most beneficial. Reefing (and a number of other activities) certainly does require a lot of focus and concentration to get to your desired end goal (setting up, checking water parameters, cleaning, maintaining, trimming, etc). Anything that doesn't allow your brain to wander off into space is a good thing.
My largest trigger event is loud noises. A car back firing, 4th of July, balloons popping. Depending on the situation and where my head is at in the moment (am I already in anxiety mode or not?), I could hit the meltdown point on those triggers.
1. Did you serve in combat? If so, please note the time frames and conflicts.
2. Do you feel you suffer from PTSD?
3. Were you diagnosed with PTSD either through the VA or other reputable means?
4. Do you feel this hobby has an impact on your PTSD?
5. Do you feel that any hobby of equal self enjoyment would have similar impacts on your disorder?
1. Yes. I was with the advance survey team in Northern Iraq before the Gulf War. 15 Air Force Civil Engineers and Base Management staff without military escorts or EOD went deep into Iraq before the 81st Airborne started landing. Our mission was to repair the air field and set up base of operations that would serve the Northern Joint Task Force. My primary mission was camp design and management, plus mortuary affairs if needed. Unfortunately, during the 12 months I was there, I processed 13 land mine casualties. Explosions outside of noon, meant someone had stepped in the wrong spot. Any large noises close to me is enough to bring up those memories, which could trigger a PTSD event.
2. Yes.
3. Yes. The VA was quick to diagnose me with PTSD, even though I did not think I was suffering from it. I had a number of conversations with the base psychiatrist when I came back about my experiences so that was on record. Plus the VA psychiatrist also stated that it was still persistent since I had severe anxiety and depression bouts, especially after trigger events.
4. Impact... no. Does it help? I 'feel' that any calming activity that can keep your head focused and not wandering off into space is enough to help deal with memories and keeping them from coming to the forefront of your mind. But it isn't going to permanently suppress those memories or feelings. Seeing a psychiatrist/councilor, joining a PTSD group, or medicating are the only 'real' impacts you'll find. You need to talk out and get everything off your chest about your experiences with someone/people who can either help you under what you're going through. When you can accept that everything that happened is done, gone, over with, and you can 'change' the 'feeling' of anger, sadness, or whatnot from those memories, then you can start working on your triggers.
5. See above.
My most proud accomplishment is my Fleet Marine Force officer pin. Used to scuba dive in Okinawa. Have a 200 gallon reef tank in my home. The aquarium gives me great peace too! Thanks for your service.
