The soap-grade lye will work, but it might have some contaminants that could be an issue. That's true of any product that's not food grade, though. I'd give it a try, personally.
Is this common or did I not rinse the media with RODI thoroughly?
I if anything used concentrations of muriatic and lye that were lower than recommended and the GFO turned to mush. Not sure how people are having success at this but it seems pretty bleak over here.
Yep, I've heard others say the regular GFO turns to mush... you need to use the HC stuff if you want to regenerate. It's pricey upfront (1 gallon from BRS is around $130), but it comes out more cost effective if you're planning to regenerate. I've got about 2 gallons of the BRS HC stuff that I've been planning to regenerate, and I just don't have the time to mess with right now... so I've been buying the regular stuff and tossing it once it's exhausted. I'll probably just end up selling the exhausted HC stuff.
Joel, I'd be happy to donate a few cups of my exhausted HC stuff if you want to play with regeneration... it's much more dense than the regular stuff.