gasman059
The OG mad scientist
New rules/policy for using the ATM at a bank, by gender.........
>>
>>
>>A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
>>
>> "Please note that this Bank is installing new
>>
>> Drive-through ATM machines
>>
>> enabling customers to withdraw cash
>>
>> without leaving their vehicles.
>>
>> Customers using this new facility are
>>
>> requested to use the procedures outlined
>>
>> below when accessing their accounts."
>>
>>
>>
>> "After months of careful research, MALE
>>
>> & FEMALE Procedures have been developed.
>>
>> Please follow the appropriate
>>
>> steps for your gender."
>>
>> MALE PROCEDURE:
>>
>> 1. Drive up to the cash machine.
>>
>> 2. Put down your car window.
>>
>> 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
>>
>> 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
>>
>> 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
>>
>> 6. Put window up.
>>
>> 7. Drive off.
>>
>>
>>
>> **********************************************
>>
>> FEMALE PROCEDURE:
>>
>>
>>
>> Unfortunately, most of this part
>>
>> is the Truth.!!!!
>>
>>
>>
>> 1. Drive up to cash machine.
>>
>> 2. Reverse and back up the required
>>
>> amount to align car window with the machine.
>>
>> 3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
>>
>> 4. Find handbag, remove all contents
>>
>> on to passenger seat to locate card.
>>
>> 5. Tell person on cell phone you will
>>
>> call them back and hang up.
>>
>> 6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
>>
>> 7. Open car door to allow easier access
>>
>> to machine due to its excessive distance
>>
>> from the car.
>>
>> 8. Insert card.
>>
>> 9. Re-insert card the right way.
>>
>> 10. Dig through handbag to find diary;
>>
>> with your PIN written on the inside back page.
>>
>> 11. Enter PIN.
>>
>> 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
>>
>> 13. Enter amount of cash required.
>>
>> 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
>>
>> 15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
>>
>> 16. Empty handbag again to locate
>>
>> wallet and place cash inside.
>>
>> 17. Write debit amount in check register
>>
>> and place receipt in back of checkbook.
>>
>> 18. Re-check makeup.
>>
>> 19. Drive forward 2 feet.
>>
>> 20. Reverse back to cash machine.
>>
>> 21. Retrieve card.
>>
>> 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card
>>
>> holder, and place card into the slot provided!
>>
>> 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind
>> you.
>>
>> 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
>>
>> 25. Redial person on cell phone.
>>
>> 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
>>
>> 27. Release Parking Brake.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
>>
>> "Please note that this Bank is installing new
>>
>> Drive-through ATM machines
>>
>> enabling customers to withdraw cash
>>
>> without leaving their vehicles.
>>
>> Customers using this new facility are
>>
>> requested to use the procedures outlined
>>
>> below when accessing their accounts."
>>
>>
>>
>> "After months of careful research, MALE
>>
>> & FEMALE Procedures have been developed.
>>
>> Please follow the appropriate
>>
>> steps for your gender."
>>
>> MALE PROCEDURE:
>>
>> 1. Drive up to the cash machine.
>>
>> 2. Put down your car window.
>>
>> 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
>>
>> 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
>>
>> 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
>>
>> 6. Put window up.
>>
>> 7. Drive off.
>>
>>
>>
>> **********************************************
>>
>> FEMALE PROCEDURE:
>>
>>
>>
>> Unfortunately, most of this part
>>
>> is the Truth.!!!!
>>
>>
>>
>> 1. Drive up to cash machine.
>>
>> 2. Reverse and back up the required
>>
>> amount to align car window with the machine.
>>
>> 3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
>>
>> 4. Find handbag, remove all contents
>>
>> on to passenger seat to locate card.
>>
>> 5. Tell person on cell phone you will
>>
>> call them back and hang up.
>>
>> 6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
>>
>> 7. Open car door to allow easier access
>>
>> to machine due to its excessive distance
>>
>> from the car.
>>
>> 8. Insert card.
>>
>> 9. Re-insert card the right way.
>>
>> 10. Dig through handbag to find diary;
>>
>> with your PIN written on the inside back page.
>>
>> 11. Enter PIN.
>>
>> 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
>>
>> 13. Enter amount of cash required.
>>
>> 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
>>
>> 15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
>>
>> 16. Empty handbag again to locate
>>
>> wallet and place cash inside.
>>
>> 17. Write debit amount in check register
>>
>> and place receipt in back of checkbook.
>>
>> 18. Re-check makeup.
>>
>> 19. Drive forward 2 feet.
>>
>> 20. Reverse back to cash machine.
>>
>> 21. Retrieve card.
>>
>> 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card
>>
>> holder, and place card into the slot provided!
>>
>> 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind
>> you.
>>
>> 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
>>
>> 25. Redial person on cell phone.
>>
>> 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
>>
>> 27. Release Parking Brake.
>>
>>
>>
Last edited:
That's a good one.
