jdpiii3
Member
Thank you! I am grateful for each and every person who has let me know they were thinking of Kelly and me and continue to do so. It helped ease my heart to know that others think of me, and care about me. For so long after Kelly's death, I have looked at the future spinning out before me, empty. It has been your stories, your lives, your happiness and joy that has kept my path lit while mine was so dark. Never has a road been so hard to walk as the road of loss of a wife, and the life changes that occurred and continues to happen. I'm on a journey and it is just the beginning. It is beginning in a new vein, a new light and a new path.
There are times the scars on my heart rip wide open, shedding tears of hurt and grief. For a little while, I am back to square one, feeling the raw pain of her passing. I still hear her laughter, the sound of her voice, and the smell of her perfume. I see the light that shone so brightly from her eyes, and I see them closed in eternal sleep. No, it does not get easier, but it does change from day to day, moment to moment.
I live my days differently now. I am more grateful for each and every day. I am more aware, living in the moment for life can change in a moment"¦ Love equals pain when one loses a wife. It brings fear of loss to the front of everything I do. Life is so fleeting after all.
The loss will not go away, how could it? I learn though, I learn how to walk this rocky road, I learn to avoid the pitfalls that trigger my sorrow. I learn to see the sunrise as beautiful again instead of another long day away from Kelly. The questions of loss will be there, but in time, I quit asking for answers, for I realize that there is no one who has the answer. My heart will weep, break open, reknit, break again. The scars are not strong for they hold my love for my wife and will open often. I learn to accept that and take the next step.
Life will go on, for now, no one lives forever. There will be hard days, and days that are not so hard. I will cry, but I will also laugh. I talk about Kelly often for she was involved in so many things in our life that we shared together. So many memories. I wish there were more than memories, but I learn to be grateful for what I have and let go of what I cannot change. I hope Kelly knows how loved she is.
I learn to cope and compensate. Healing and recovery is about accepting the reality of the loss over time. But getting over the people we loved and have lost would mean forgetting or somehow pretending they never existed. Ridiculous. Impossible. I'll never get over missing Kelly. But I will get through this time.
I hold on to Kelly's lessons and will use them as I move forward along my new path. I will continue to choose to love. I have loved and have been loved, there's no better feeling in this whole world. To love with no strings attached, no hidden agendas, no mind games just straight forward and honest love. That when we give ourselves to others we receive far more in return. That tomorrow may never come, if it's worth doing, do it today. To resolve all disagreements or arguments and never let them stew "“ we can't control other people, but we can control our own response and we can forgive them even if they don't forgive us. To keep going no matter what. To be aware of ourselves and our impact on the way we think and the way we perceive others. To trust your heart as well as your head. Go to Disney, often! To take time for myself. To enjoy a decent bottle of wine. Pray
I will continue to grow. I will continue to develop. I will continue to go to Disney"¦and RUSH concerts(come on guys! Back out on tour!) I will continue to pray. And will continue to choose to love. I will continue to live my life to the fullest possible with the love and support of those people closest to me, and if you are one of those people "“ thank you, I love you from the bottom of my heart!
There are times the scars on my heart rip wide open, shedding tears of hurt and grief. For a little while, I am back to square one, feeling the raw pain of her passing. I still hear her laughter, the sound of her voice, and the smell of her perfume. I see the light that shone so brightly from her eyes, and I see them closed in eternal sleep. No, it does not get easier, but it does change from day to day, moment to moment.
I live my days differently now. I am more grateful for each and every day. I am more aware, living in the moment for life can change in a moment"¦ Love equals pain when one loses a wife. It brings fear of loss to the front of everything I do. Life is so fleeting after all.
The loss will not go away, how could it? I learn though, I learn how to walk this rocky road, I learn to avoid the pitfalls that trigger my sorrow. I learn to see the sunrise as beautiful again instead of another long day away from Kelly. The questions of loss will be there, but in time, I quit asking for answers, for I realize that there is no one who has the answer. My heart will weep, break open, reknit, break again. The scars are not strong for they hold my love for my wife and will open often. I learn to accept that and take the next step.
Life will go on, for now, no one lives forever. There will be hard days, and days that are not so hard. I will cry, but I will also laugh. I talk about Kelly often for she was involved in so many things in our life that we shared together. So many memories. I wish there were more than memories, but I learn to be grateful for what I have and let go of what I cannot change. I hope Kelly knows how loved she is.
I learn to cope and compensate. Healing and recovery is about accepting the reality of the loss over time. But getting over the people we loved and have lost would mean forgetting or somehow pretending they never existed. Ridiculous. Impossible. I'll never get over missing Kelly. But I will get through this time.
I hold on to Kelly's lessons and will use them as I move forward along my new path. I will continue to choose to love. I have loved and have been loved, there's no better feeling in this whole world. To love with no strings attached, no hidden agendas, no mind games just straight forward and honest love. That when we give ourselves to others we receive far more in return. That tomorrow may never come, if it's worth doing, do it today. To resolve all disagreements or arguments and never let them stew "“ we can't control other people, but we can control our own response and we can forgive them even if they don't forgive us. To keep going no matter what. To be aware of ourselves and our impact on the way we think and the way we perceive others. To trust your heart as well as your head. Go to Disney, often! To take time for myself. To enjoy a decent bottle of wine. Pray
I will continue to grow. I will continue to develop. I will continue to go to Disney"¦and RUSH concerts(come on guys! Back out on tour!) I will continue to pray. And will continue to choose to love. I will continue to live my life to the fullest possible with the love and support of those people closest to me, and if you are one of those people "“ thank you, I love you from the bottom of my heart!
