Yeah, my point is often what we see as signs of success in other animals, spawning/breeding = good, while nems splitting means stress most often, not always good.
Same goes for size IMO, a nem in need of light will stretch out, and sometimes leave their normal area reaching for that light, or spread disc for max surface area to retrieve light.
A happy nem from my exp is a little more dense, tighter, w/ good color.
Judging by size is not neccessarily a good way to judge.
Over feeding can stress a nem, even stress them into a split.
A new nem needs to settle, pretty much all here agree to leave it be for a week or two weeks even until it settles in, and even then small amounts once a week, or every other week seem best.
A recovering nem that has not built up zooxanthellae can not process light into energy, so that would need small feedings such as mysis to help it recover and build that zoo so it can process light.
Once it does you could not spot feed at all.